A Heavy Choice...

I can't understand what I'm feeling right now.

There's this heaviness, a fear of an unknown, which seems to be bothering me eversince I woke up. I really don't know if its a reaction to the things that have happened for the last 2 days. I feel so unsure of everything, even of myself and the decisions that I have been making.

"Personality Fit" is what my boss calls it. Accdg to her, I should think whether or not I am fit for the position and responsibility that I would be taking on. I do believe that I am fit for the position and most especially the responsibility. What I do know is that I do not "fit" to my boss' concept of leadership. I have come to realize that "the heart" is not essential to her. Compliance and alignment to her own belief is the only key to becoming a good leader.

I feel sad that I do not see eye to eye with her. Admitting this to her would only equate to one thing and that would be to give up the opportunity that has been given to me to advance in my career.

Life poses another challenging question for me...

Whether to take the position and "force"myself to align with her ideals or...
To give it up and uphold what is in my heart.

To many idealists out there, the choice is very obvious. However, practicality points to the other. Now I know why some people choose the path trodden most often. It doesn't mean though that it is the easier path. Giving up your principles is never the easy option.

What do I do?