Thinking Bad Thoughts is...Bad.

Never ever bother yourself with things that you're not supposed to think of in the first place if you dont want things to screw up. This is what I've been repeating over and over to myself for the nth time. Its definitely not healthy because it will only turn you more and more paranoid and will just make things turn out bad.

I was never like this before. I wonder why Im suddenly so scared of so many things now. He asked me why Im thinking these things last night. He asked me if how he's been acting is making me think of these things. I don't know. He asked if I was feeling insecure. Maybe. What Im sure of is that Im just scared of losing him. Maybe the fear just seems stronger now and seems to loom more because I already experienced losing someone. Way back then, the thought of losing someone never ever entered my mind because I felt so secure with what we had. It seemed like we were going to be together forever because we never ever had any major problems. In the end, what we had did not last.

I'm glad that things turned out the way that it has now but the fear of losing someone that you love so much just seems more real now because I know that this can happen, it does happen. I still need to learn to deal with this fear. Soon. I dont want to screw up. What I have is too good for me to screw it all up.

Trust is not an issue. I do trust him and do believe him. I just need to stop thinking too much. Must not be afraid.